Crimson Pirates, The

Once upon a time there were two rival pirate crews. The Crimson Tide was captained by Grace O’Malley with a mostly female crew. Her old nemesis was Jack ‘Mad Dog’ Daniels of the Sea Dog – derisively called the ‘Wet Puppy’. Captain Jack was always getting in the way of Grace whenever there was a treasure to be had, a ship to be boarded, or a town to plunder. O’Malley was sorely vexed with Daniels and his constant interference. It’s not that Jack was any good at piracy or was a threat to Grace’s ‘King Crab Eating Champion’ record which she held for three consecutive years – but, he always managed to turn up just at the wrong time – whether it was spoiling a surprise attack on a Spanish galleon or blocking a quick getaway from a French port after stealing a Chantilly lace shipment for her crew.

Now if Grace was telling this story – she’d tell you how she hunted Jack down and blasted his ship to the bottom of the sea! Feeling sorry for Jack and his crew, she invited them to join her ship, the Crimson Tide, and sign the ship articles.

If you listen to Jack’s side of the tale – his ship, the Sea Dog, is still somewhere out there. Jack’s crew was on shore leave and Jack, not wanting to miss all the fun, followed them – leaving the Sea Dog unmanned. Well, after a night of drinking and gambling and too many sea monkey snacks – Jack awoke from his stupor to find the Sea Dog gone from its moorings. Grace arrived with the Crimson Tide and shanghaied the Sea Dog’s tipsy crew. Without a ship or a crew – Jack had no choice but to throw in his lot with Grace.

No matter whom you believe – now, they’re all one big happy, if somewhat dysfunctional, pirate family.